Thursday, July 17, 2008
i have been through a lot today. I'm having gas pains when i woke up this morning, plus I'm having terminal dysuria. I wasn't in the mood to attend my review sessions this morning but I did. Good thing i did not absent cause i got good grades. But all through out the class i was having urinary pains so right after, I went directly to the hospital and went for a urinalysis. At the end of the day I found out I have: bacteria = TMTC. It was the first time I heard it. I was expecting: bacteria = ++++, but no, i got TMTC, stands for too many too count. For short I have a UTI.
I've been drinking liters of water but its still painful everytime I pee and after.
Its almost midnight and my eyes are so tired but im not sleepy at all. I dont wanna go to sleep and be bothered by things that would make me cry.
See, i have a weak defense. I get intimidated easily and I cry for no reason at all. Im paranoid and I think people I care for doesn't care about me at all.
I was browsing through the net earlier this night to find out these friends of mine somewhat forgotten me as their friend. Well, that was what I thought and im still thinking about it. I believe I had established a special bond with them, but I dont think they had considered me to be part of them.
If youre reading this now, it would all be confusing cause I refuse to share more specific details about why I felt this way.
Well, I guess if i feel that way with them maybe indeed they are doing something to make me feel this way and not merely me being paranoid.
pondering more about this matter... if they are truly my friend, they would still make me feel that im part of them even if i cant hang out with them anymore.
and i just realized while i am typing this blog directly out of my mind that FRIENDSHIP is a relationship that shoul be handled with care as much as it takes to keep a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship stronger.
and i just thought, the friendship i had with those so-called friends of mine is not worth taking extra care for.
after all, i have better and sincere friends worth keeping.
and here are them:
back in grade five
some time in highschool
on junior high i think
high school graduation
second year college, on aissa's debut
august 2007 triple birthday party
present - july 05, 2008
with my very special guy friend and my best friend since kinder